How long does it take?

In Alma 36, Alma recounts to his son, Helaman, the story of his visitation by an angel, his rebuke (though that doesn't seem like a strong enough word, his suffering as he remembered all his sins, and his ultimate joy in receiving forgiveness through the Atonement of Christ (v 6-21).

There's not a time frame given (I've written about that before--how long did his poor father watch and pray after him?) for how long Alma was in active rebellion, leading people away to destruction.  It appears to be several years at least.  So, how long does it take to receive forgiveness for such sins over so long a period?

Alma says that he was "racked...with the pains of a damned soul" for three days (v 16).  But forgiveness didn't take that long.  Perhaps repentance takes that long--the internal struggle we go through in recognizing sins and feeling the sorrow and torment our actions have caused ourselves and others.



But Christ isn't nearly so hesitant.  Forgiveness came at the end of three days of torment for Alma, but that doesn't appear to be the the required waiting period.  In fact, once Alma "caught hold upon [the] thought" of the Atonement, forgiveness and peace came almost immediately.  "When (I take this to mean "as soon as") I thought this, I could remember my pains no more...and, oh, what joy and what marvelous light I did behold" (v 18-20).

Repentance, which is an act we do, can take time.  That's especially true if we feel, as Alma did, that "the very thought of coming into the presence of God did rack my soul with inexplicable horror" (v 14).  That guilt is a trick the adversary can use to keep us from taking advantage of repentance--convincing us that our guilt makes us unworthy to repent.

Forgiveness, which is a gift from the Savior, doesn't need to take time.  The very act of turning toward the Savior and asking for mercy, in Alma's case was enough to receive immediate forgiveness.  So can it be with us.

And that is more than just taking away the pains of sin.  Turning toward the Savior and accepting His atonement also can take away the pains of life, swallowing them in the hope of His love.  I, like Alma, have experienced recent pain that I can't begin to accurately describe.  Yet, through the Atonement, that pain is replaced by joy that is more sweet and exquisite.

It took a long longer than it needed to.  Once I was willing to give the pain away, the Savior took it almost immediately.  He had paid for it long ago.

By and by ye shall pluck the fruit

More on patience.

Alma 32 and 33 are about exercising faith, tending and increasing it over time, and ultimately receiving great joy.  Upon first reading through this, the lesson I thought I was learning was one of patience.  In Chapter 32, Alma talks about planting the seed of faith, even just based on a desire to believe.  Tending it, gradually seeing the seed take root and begin to sprout.  Alma doesn't put a time frame on it, but I get the sense that the process of going from the beginnings of faith to the "perfect knowledge" described in verse 34 could take a while.  It will take "dilligence...faith, and...patience with the word in nourishing it.  By and by ye shall pluck the fruit which is most precious" (v 42).

Okay, Lord.  I can be patient.  I can exercise faith, see it beginning to work, and wait patiently until one day I become happy.

But that's not it at all.  In Chapter 33 Alma explains that you needn't wait for joy.  That joy is available all the way through the tending and nourishing process, as we call up on the Lord for it, through the Son.  "In thee is my joy...because of thy Son" (v 11)."  How long until that joy? "Plant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell, nourish it by your faith.  And it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life.  And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the Joy of the Son" (v 23).



That makes the process of receiving the blessings of lightness and joy pretty fast--right at the beginning and after the "springing" of your planted faith.  The comfort and rest of the Savior is available to all those who want it, and it's available awfully fast.  His light is warm, and the act of looking towards it (v 19-21) causes the springing.

Content

Yesterday was my first Thanksgiving as a single man in 13 years.  I've heard that holidays, especially the first ones, can be hard--bring up memories and all that.  It's true.

The day was fantastic.  I spent it with family that I don't see often enough, some of whom had flown in from out of state.  The food was fantastic, including some that I made.  But that night at home rather than being grateful for what I did have, I found myself pining for what I didn't.  I missed my former life and Thanksgiving traditions.  I missed the people.  I felt badly about that, because I enjoyed the day, and loved spending it with my siblings that deserve my gratitude.

Then today I read Alma 29, wherein Alma pines for things he can't do and can't have.  He wants to be a missionary to everyone.  Verse three caught me today.  "I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me."

Oh, that I were a husband, and could have eternal covenants still in effect.  Oh, that I were a father, and could have the joy and rejoicing in my posterity that comes from playing catch with a son.  And oh, for my old home and kitchen, and kitchen tools, that I could have space to share with those that once were my family.

I haven't those things today.  But it would be a sin if I dwelt on some things I temporarily lack instead of being happy and content with the tremendous blessings I have.  Those include the family mentioned above, friends and those that are technically no longer family that I love.  A sister who visits and shares tender moments on struggles we have in common.  A Savior whose love has the power to heal any wound.

And for those blessings and many more, I feel content.

"As much as we could do"

Building a bit on the previous post, I had some thoughts about the Anti-Nephi-Lehies and their commitment after their conversion, particularly when faced with oncoming war.  I think most readers will be familiar with their burial of weapons, and their passivity when their enemies invaded and ultimately slaughtered more than 1,000 of them.



(Briefly, I'll mention that I like the imagery of burying "weapons," which I take as a symbol for sin here.  When repenting, we should bury our former sins deeply, and then leave them alone and underground, even when faced with strong opposition.)

But the most familiar aspects of this story aren't my point today.  Rather, I look at why the A-N-L's were so committed to living the Gospel.  They were recent converts, after all.  It's not like they had a lifetime of habit.  What they had was commitment, and that commitment was based on their hard-won repentance.  They say, "Since it has been as much as we could do to get our stains taken away from us... (Alma 24:15)."

And that's the reason.  Repentance, particularly of serious sin, takes real effort.  Elsewhere in the scriptures, this work of repentance is equated with wrestling.  After putting in so much effort in the wrestle for repentance, the forgiven didn't want to give away their progress and the joy that comes with such repentance.

Doesn't that make you feel like any sin is just supreme folly?  Wouldn't it be better to not to give back the results of the work of repentance?

"Give away all"

The conversion of King Lamoni and his father in Alma 17 to 22 is a lesson in growing commitment.

Lamoni, upon learning of Ammon's strength, witnessing his selfless service, but before hearing his testimony, asks Ammon, "if thou wilt tell me concerning these things."  Further, Lamoni promises, "Whatever thou desirest I will give thee (17:21)."



That is true conversion.  To be able to say to the Lord, "Whatever thou desirest I will give thee."  And the Lord will only ever ask for one thing, and that is our agency.  Our willingness to do His will.

Lamoni's father, taught by Aaron, follows the same pattern.  It is Ammon's strength, love, and service to his son that piques his interest and causes him to invite the missionaries over (20:24).  When he was afraid, this King was willing to bribe his way out of trouble by offering Ammon, "half the kingdom."  After witnessing charity and service, motivated by love he was willing to offer much more.

Aaron, Ammon's brother, teaches the King in Chapter 22.  Upon learning of the creation, the fall, and the Atonement, the possibility of Eternal Life, the King asks, "What shall I do that I may...be filled with joy? Behold...I will give up all that I possess, yea I will forsake my kingdom that may receive this great joy (v 15)."  Aaron answers him that to receive such joy requires repentance and faith.

And here, the King gives one of the simplest and purest prayers recorded in scripture: "O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day" (v 18).

I've constantly struggled to be able to make that same promise.  The struggle comes from knowing that I've been so far unable to "give away all my sins."  They stick around (curse my weakness).  I doubt that Lamoni's father, the King, lived perfectly after making such a promise, though he obviously experienced that mighty change of heart described in Alma 5.

The stake presidency taught this "give away all" lesson in Sunday School on Sunday.  There wasn't much time for questions, though this struggle was on my mind.  As I have thought, prayed, and reread this story from Alma, I've reached the following conclusion.

Giving away one's sins doesn't mean never sinning again.  Rather, it means a willingness to believe in the Savior's Atonement, and that through the Atonement, give away all our sins to Him, as he's already suffered and paid for them.  In short, I think that "giving away all" is akin to repentance.  If I am willing to, rather than hold on to my sins, give them away to Jesus, give my agency to Him through service and my best efforts to live as He would have me, and when those sins inevitably come again, give those away to Him also, that will fill me with that Joy that Lamoni's father was willing to give away all he possessed.

I've felt that Joy, and it's worth all that I possess.

Too much learned in one day

Today was Branch Conference.  They call it a mini-conference, but I don't know why.  The Stake Presidency taught a combined Priesthood and Relief Society, Sunday School, and were the speakers in Sacrament Meeting.

It was a spiritual feast.  In the sense that there were a ton of dishes, and I ate way too much.  Too much?  I just know that I'm not going to remember it all.  There were lessons and new insights for me on temples, patriarchal blessings, agency, the Atonement, and many others that I can't quite encapsulate or have already slipped my mind.  A counselor in the presidency spoke about Ammon, King Lamoni, and his (Lamoni's) father.  I am just in the middle of that story in my personal reading, so I'll post about that as I read tonight and tomorrow, passing off the insights as my own. :)

Here's the lesson that I think I'd have little cause to write about any time soon.  Jesus was crucified between two thieves.  They both spoke to him while they all hung waiting to die.  This provides us with three examples of how to approach life and God.  From Luke 23:39-43

And one of the malefactors which were hanged arailed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.  But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due areward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.  And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.  And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

We can be like the first, who "railed" the Lord, asking Him to use His power for our own sake (save...us).  We can be like the second, confessing our sins and begging the Lord's forgiveness and remembrance, or like the third, the Savior, striving to do all we can for the sake of serving our Father in Heaven and bringing to pass His will.

We should strive to be like the third, mostly winding up like the second, and in the end, living with the Father because of the Grace of His Son.

Thoughts on Ammon: A portion of the Spirit

I haven't written for a while.  I was sick last week.  If you're in the mood for something less reverent, you can read about that here.

Ammon is a favorite story of boys from the Book of Mormon.  Cutting off arms?  That's awesome.  My brother taught primary while he worked at Sears, and when he did Sharing Time on Ammon, he brought in mannequin arms from the store and had his class carry them in in a blanket.  I wasn't there, but I heard that some of the other primary teachers actually screamed.  All the boys thought it was awesome.



Reading tonight, I was struck by different parts.

"A portion of [the] Spirit" is how Ammon's and his brothers' power are described in Alma 17 and 18.  Here's how Ammon explains how he was able to defeat the enemies of the King and save his flocks:

"I am a man; and man in the beginning was created after the image of God, and I am called by his Holy Spirit to teach these things unto this people, that they may be brought to a knowledge of that which is just and true; And a portion of that Spirit dwelleth in me, which giveth me knowledge, and also power according to my faith and desires which are in God (18:34-35)."

The Spirit, or a portion of it, will provide the knowledge and power needed fulfill the designs and plans that God has for each of us.  We're asked to do nothing but what He will provide a way to accomplish (1 Ne. 3:7). Ammon and his brothers also teach us how to obtain that portion of the Spirit.  "They fasted much and prayed much that the Lord would grant unto them a portion of his Spirit to go with them, and abide with them, that they might be an binstrument in the hands of God (17:9)."

How can we have the Spirit with us to be as successful in missionary work or other callings as Ammon was?  By asking, with fasting and prayer.

"I knew but I would not know"

In Alma 10, Amulek says, "I never have known much of the ways of the Lord, and his mysteries and marvelous power. I said I never had known much of these things; but behold, I mistake, for I have seen much of his mysteries and his marvelous power...Nevertheless, I did harden my heart, for I was called many times and I would not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know; therefore I went on rebelling against God." (v 5-6)

That's the way of things.  It seems impossible to me to not know that God exists.  Anyone can see evidence of this every day in the beauty, variety, and perfection of the earth.  Was it just random chance that Earth is the perfect distance from the Sun to sustain life?  That if we were closer or further away by even a tiny degree, life as we know it would not exist.  Or was that more than dumb luck?

It just seems completely unreasonable to reach any other conclusion.  Theories that life randomly evolved here are just to incredible and unlikely for any rational person to accept.  What are the odds?  What are the chances that a planet would be just so close to its Sun, that protiens would all be so formed and appear together to spontaneously create life where none existed before, that that life would keep mutating until it forms creatures of our intelligence?

"To get a cell by chance would require at least one hundred functional proteins to appear simultaneously in one place. That is one hundred simultaneous events each of an independent probability which could hardly be more than 10^-20 giving maximum combined probability of 10(-2000.)" [Denten, Michael. Evolution: A Theory in Crisis, Warwickshire, Burnett Books Limited, 1985]


If the chances of random and spontaneous creation of life has odds of even 1 in 1 billion, the odds of something else are a practical certainty.  I'm not a betting man, but if I were, I'd bet on something other than random chance.  I think that's what Amulek meant when he said he knew but he would not know.  Any reasonable person would have to look at the available evidence and conclude that at the very least, something with a higher power is planning something for the universe.

Yet, some just will not know.

The message of home teaching

Our church measures things.  President Monson says, "When performance is measured, performance improves."  So we collect lots of data and use it to try to improve performance.

One of the imperfections of such measurements is that things that are easy to measure aren't necessarily the most important.  What we want are outcomes of increased spirituality and members feeling God's love and the Atonement in their lives.  Those are impossible to measure.  So, we measure what is measurable: baptisms, sacrament meeting attendance, home teaching visits.  These things are indicators of positive outcomes, but aren't the outcomes themselves.

The danger for people, then, is to focus on what gets measured, the tools we use to reach the outcomes we want, instead of focusing on the outcomes themselves.

My stake has taken a wonderful approach to this conflict in how it addresses home teaching, and it was the lesson in Elders' Quorum on Sunday.  Instead of measuring just visiting a home and sharing a message, our stake measures "watchcare."  This difference is based on the following facts:

• People are busy, and needs are great.  There is more work to do to build the kingdom than can possibly be done by any individual who is also watching out for the needs of his own family.  A home teaching companionship will have more families to watch over than they could reasonably be expected to visit in their home each month.
• Some people aren't interested in having home teachers come by for a visit, or would not feel comfortable with the Ensign message.
• The real point of home teaching is to build relationships so that those with stewardship can understand the temporal needs of families and that families feel comfortable coming to the church when needs arise.

So, rather than answer the question, "How many of your families did you visit this month?" the question Elders in our stake get is, "Did you prayerfully watch over the ____ family this month? And will you continue to prayerfully watch over them?"  Prayerful watchcare may include a visit to their home, a letter, phone calls, visits over the back fence, or many other valid ways to build positive, purposeful, and meaningful relationships.

I like this approach because it puts the end goal of home teaching as more important than the process.  Home teachers are entitled to the Spirit as they prayerfully watch over families and should be trusted to use the Spirit in visiting and building relationships with the families they serve.

And really, whether a home teacher gives the First Presidency Message from Ensign magazine, or talks about football, or just helps his family weed a garden, the underlying message is the same.  The message from every home teacher to every family they watch over should be, "Your Heavenly Father loves you.  I am here because His representatives have asked me to watch over you."

And over time, as home teachers build meaningful and purposeful relationships based on service, to this message is added, "I love you.  I am here to serve you and ensure your family is cared for."

That's the message of home teaching.

Giving a chance for the enemy of God

There are just too many lessons from Mosiah 27 to fit into one post.

I really appreciate a lesson that the Spirit retaught me as I read verse 9, which says, speaking of the rebellious and yet-unconverted Alma the Younger: "And he became a great hinderment to the prosperity of the church of God; stealing away the hearts of the people; causing much dissension among the people; giving a chance for the enemy of God to exercise his power over them." (Emphasis added.)

So, when in life does the enemy of God not have a chance to exercise his power over us?  As I read this verse it seems to me that if the enemy exercises power when there is dissension and the influence of someone "wicked and idolatrous," then the enemy could exercise less power when we are at peace and surrounded by positive examples and influences.

I find that prayer, scripture study, time and conversation with friends and family, temple and church attendance--things that bring the Spirit of the Lord as a companion--are keys to reducing the power of the enemy.  Avoiding those things, putting them off, replacing them with negative alternatives, that's what gives a chance for the enemy to exercise his power over us.

How long did he pray?

By the time Alma the Younger was visited by an angel and called to repentance, he had become "a great hindrance to the prosperity of the church of God; stealing away the hearts of the people." (Mosiah 27:9)  There's no time frame given for how long he was out leading people into iniquity, but I imagine it was several years to have the kind of effect on the whole church as described.

When the angel finally appeared, he told Alma and his comrades that he was there because, "The Lord hat heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father."  (Mosiah 27:14)  I imagine that Alma especially had been praying for his son since his birth, and really praying long and hard for many years.

Mosiah 27 teachers us that prayer is indeed powerful (Alma was awoken through fasting and prayer also--v 22), but that the answers to prayers are not necessarily timely, at least not to our reckoning.  It can get frustrating praying for people to have the kinds of experiences that, like Alma, will cause them to accept the redeeming and "marvelous light of God" (v 29).  This chapter gives me faith and patience, knowing that the Lord loves those that I pray for, and that He will "snatch" them out in His time (v 28).

"As often as my people repent will I forgive them"

What a promise, and also what a responsibility, we find for ourselves in Mosiah 26.

In this chapter, Alma wonders what to do with people who "are taken in iniquity" (v 34).  Mosiah the King rightly leaves the matter of sin (rather than crime) to the church, not the government to handle (v 12).

Alma receives an answer to his prayer "after he had poured out his whole soul to God" (v 14).  An in the answer is a wonderful explanation of the Atonement.  Whom does the atonement apply to?  And how often?

The answers are everyone and as often as they repent.  The promises of the Atonement are universal, infinite, and continuous.  "Whomsoever ye receive shall believe in my name; and him will I freely forgive.  For it is I that taketh upon me the sins of the world...and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me"  (v 22-23 and 30).  That is a tremendous promise that reinforces what we learned in the previous several chapters--namely that no matter what level of sin, no matter how long the sin continued, no matter what outside force caused recognition or compelled humility, the Lord will "receive with joy" all who return to Him.

But there is also a charge to us who would be forgiven, and that is to forgive those who trespass against us.  "Ye shall also forgive one another your trespasses; for...he that forgiveth not his neighbor's trespasses...the same hath brought himself under condemnation."

If we believe in the universality and infinity of the Atonement, how can we possibly look at any other person and not forgive them?  No matter what any individual has done to us or to anyone, the Atonement is sufficient for them, as much as it is for us.  Neither we nor those who have trespassed against us deserve the Lord's forgiveness, yet he grants it.  When we look at others, especially those who have trespassed, we should see the Savior's intercession on their behalf.  We should see not what sins they've committed or the evil they've done, but the Savior's wholeness and perfection, which is available to all, and is not for us to grant nor deny.

This is a hard lesson to apply, in my experience, especially when the choices of others have negatively impacted  me.  Yet, it's a lesson I must learn and an action I must take for I cannot expect the Savior to extend his grace to me if I expect Him to refuse it to another.

"And he did receive them with joy."

The story of the people of Zeniff in Mosiah chapters 9 to 22 is instructive about life.

Zeniff leads a group of followers from Zarahemla to possess a different part of the land.  For a time, they are successful, but as they fall into wickedness, they eventually become slaves to the Lamanites.  Their suffering, and the timely arrival of Ammon from Zarahemla, serve as calls to humility and repentance, which frees them from their shackles of slavery and they return to Zarahemla there they are warmly received.

(The story of Abinadi is in these chapters as well, but I'll not touch on that in this post.)

We often go through the same process of wandering, wickedness, humility, repentance, and return. In the world, as we learn from our own experience to distinguish good from evil, we face temptation.  We often submit, which can enslave us to sin and addiction.  Giving up a portion of our agency through sinful actions makes us more susceptible to Satan, who would love to choose for us and make us miserable like he is. The misery that always follows such choices can bring humility and remorse, which can bring repentance and forgiveness.

It took the people of Zeniff years and years to reach the point where repentance was a more attractive option than continued decadence.  They ultimately had to be enslaved to a foreign power.  It is painful to watch those we love (it was painful for those I love to have watched me at points in my life) suffer the consequences of poor choices.  We sometimes wait until we can't possibly sink lower before calling on the redeeming power of the Atonement to replace our misery with joy, and remove the burdens of enslavement to sin.

I find myself praying that those I love will suffer more and earlier, so they will be returned to humility faster.  But, no matter how much of our agency we give away to temptation, embarrassment, and regret, we always retain the portion of agency to choose liberty by choosing to follow the Savior, or to continue choosing captivity according to the captivity of the devil (2 Ne. 2:27).

Yet no matter how long it takes, no matter what we have suffered, no matter what we have brought upon ourselves, when we ultimately choose to return to the Lord, he will receive us with joy (Mosiah 22:14).