You're probably doing better than you think

After my last post that quoted Nephi's lament about his own inadequacies, I read Falling to Heaven, by James L. Ferrell, who also wrote the wonderful The Peacegiver.  Ferrell points out that several other prophets make similar, er, confessions in the scriptures.  He quotes Alma laying out his past sins to his sons, Amulek's confession to his neighbors that he knew but ignored the hand of the Lord in his own life, and Joseph Smith for his.

My favorite that Ferrell brought up was the Apostle Paul.  I hadn't remembered this from him in his epistle to the Romans, chapter 7:

18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Oh, how many times have I thought that?!  I know what's good, but I can't figure out how to do it. What I know I should and want to do, I don't do, but that which I know I shouldn't do, I do anyway.


And so does everybody else.  So did Paul.  So did Nephi, and Alma, and Joseph Smith, and our prophets and apostles today.  And you.


And even when we can temper our guilt with the fact that "no one need suppose me guilty of any malignant sins" (Joseph Smith—History 1:28), we still know that we fall utterly short of what we want and what God requires.


But I think it's a mistake of arrogance to allow our sinful nature to make us feel unworthy of blessings or goodness.  True humility would realize that we cannot do what is required of us, so we rely wholly on the power of the Atonement to make up the difference.  It isn't humble to compare ourselves to perfection, which is unattainable.

So our own laments should sound an awful lot like those of the prophets above, maybe even sounding very hard on ourselves, as we groan at our own wretchedness.  Then we rejoice in the goodness of the Lord who covers whatever gap we have.

What's the proper attitude to sin?

I'm not sure I have the title of this post right.  This dates from my trip to Mexico, when my travelling companions and I had a little fireside in our hotel room reading Believing Christ, by Stephen E. Robinson.  And even that was from a Sunday School lesson earlier in the year that included 2 Nephi 28.

In church I made the comment that people could use the Atonement as an excuse to sin.  "Christ has already suffered for all my sins, including every sin I've yet to commit."  I worry a little about the danger of having confidence in, but not love of, the Atonement. Essentially believing that no matter what you do, God will save you anyway, so might as well, "Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God."

So that's obviously not right.  Nephi provides what I figure I must consider the proper response to one's own sinful nature in 2 Nephi 4:

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

... 

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the benemy of my soul.

29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. 

There's more, and it's all good.


So I asked the question above, and Nephi's answer is the right one.  But how to apply that in my own life I'm still not sure.  How does one feel "wretched" like Nephi does while still rejoicing in one's heart for the Lord's condescension and mercy.


I worry that in practice one might end up feeling wretched and guilty to the point of despair, or feel so hopeful in ultimate salvation that the groaning for sins is simply skipped.


Nephi figured that out by the end of his life.  I'm still working on it.

Ignore the prophet when he says you're doing wrong

Making my way through the Old Testament, I laughed out loud at these verses in 1 Kings 22.

7 And Jehoshaphat said, Is there not here a prophet of the Lord besides, that we might enquire of him?
8 And the king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat, There is yet one man, Micaiah the son of Imlah, by whom we may enquire of the Lord: but I hate him; for he doth not prophesy good concerning me, but evil.

And later on in the chapter, in fact Micaiah does prophesy that Ahab, the King of Israel, will die.  Ahab Dies.

Even when prophets say hard things, we should listen.